Mike Myers on Toronto: Parts One through Four...

The Toronto Sun asked me to write a few words about my feelings on getting a Star on the Canadian Walk of Fame. Now, I'm not one for speechifying, but I do have some thoughts.

Thought 1: I'm intensely proud and honoured to be included in the company of Shania Twain, Linda Evangelista, Robbie Robertson, Scotty Bowman, Toller Cranston, Jim Elder, Lynn Johnston, Luc Plamondon, David Steinberg, and especially Lorne Michaels as inductees on the Canadian Walk of Fame. It's very cool to be included on the same list. This leads me to Thought 2.

Thought 2: Canadians are a nation of list-makers. Part of the Canadian experience (apart from sticking your tongue on a frozen metal pole in January) is keeping track of Canadian accomplishments. The world's longest street - Yonge Street. The world's tallest free-standing structure - The CN Tower. The invention of Standard Time. The birthplace of Mary Pickford. (I was born at Woman's College Hospital, several hundred yards away from Mary Pickford's birthsite.) The invention of insulin. Winnie the Pooh. Independence without revolution. The longest covered bridge in the world. The Avro Arrow. The snowmobile. The telephone. Basketball. The Macintosh Apple. Pablum. Frozen Food. Ginger Ale. The first documentary film. Superman. IMAX. The zipper. The paint-roller. The green garbage bag. Trivial Pursuit. And last but not least, hockey. This leads me to Thought 3.

Thought 3: Americans are sick and tired of me talking about Canada incessantly. Frequently, I will hear my American brethren say, "Oh no, here comes the List." This leads me to Thought 4.

Thought 4: Because of Thought 3, I've had to "Trojan Horse" my Canadian references in the popular culture. I call these: "Letters to Home." Coded messages for my Canadian friends. In "Wayne's World," "Stan Mikita's Doughnuts" doubled for "Tim Horton's Doughnuts," and "Officer Koharski" was named after the NHL referee Don Koharski. (A lovely man - he gave me a ref shirt once - it was cool.) "Aurora, Illinois" is in honour of Aurora, Ontario. In "Goldmember," Dr. Evil is caught and the news of it is presented on a mythical, CNN-type news broadcast. At the bottom of the screen, the teletype reads: "Toronto Wins Stanley Cup.
Toronto Voted Best City in the World." In the first "Austin Powers" - during the Dr. Evil "Family Therapy Scene" - one of the sons in the group is named "Dave Keon." Carrie Fisher, who played the therapist in that scene, asked me if she could say a different name that was easier for her to pronounce, and I said, "No," and then went on to explain the importance of the Toronto Maple Leafs for twenty minutes. To which, she said, "Fine, 'Dave Keon' it is if it'll get you to shut up about Toronto." (See Thought 3.) She then went on to say that she'd been to Toronto, loved it, and thought it was "Very clean."