Steve Wright No?

I planted some birdseed. A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

Why do they advertise products for "Occasional Irregularity"?
If it wasn't occasional, wouldn't it be regular?

What is an "Authentic Reproduction"??

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible .. and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when
he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins
to look like a nail.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll
show you a man who can't get his pants off.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?